Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I'm Still Here

Lately I haven't been posting and figured eventually that I would post on here some sort of rationalization for the reason why.  But the truth is, I really don't have one.  My rationalization is different from the truth--something I think we all stumble upon from time to time.  What we'd like to say to people and what reality really is are two completely separate stories.

The reality is that I'm not just a mother and a teacher, I'm a learner too, and I've been learning some life lessons.  Some have included wonderful opportunities--a new job, for one--and some have included new challenges.  Some have caused me to think about life and myself in new and different ways.  The great thing about this is it reminds me every day in the classroom how we challenge children to think in new and different ways, and how that imbalance--disequilibrium--can be confusing, scary, yet exhilirating and powerful.

This morning I watched a video of someone I greatly admire talking about career advice.  He told an audience of people that whatever it is you want to do with your life, whatever is your calling, you should be doing it every day.  You don't let life get in the way of your passion.  You live what you love, and you live it whether you are paid for it or not, because you love it.

Why has this stuck so heavily with me today?  For a couple of reasons.  First, when I was beginning this blog, I was a week or so in when I just felt lost.  I believed it wasn't useful and nobody would read it.  As if by magic, a few hours later I received a message from an ex-college student/ now friend talking about this blog and how much she loved it.  When I wrote her back and told her about my doubts, she told me firmly, "It's never stupid to do what you love to do."  Ah, the wisdom of my college students.  It's why I love to teach them.

The second reason I've thought about this all day has to do with where I feel I'm at personally.  I'm experiencing a rebirth of sorts, and it made me reflect about who I was and what I love to do.  I love to teach, yes.  I love being a mother also.  But I love to write.  And so that's who I am and what I should be doing.

How this will look and how it will affect this blog, I don't know.  Hopefully it will inspire and encourage more sharing on this blog and more everyday writing and appreciation of life.  Maybe it will cause me to reflect about things I haven't before.  Or maybe it's just a thought for the day, like they had in elementary school.  Do what you love, and do it every day, all the time.  It's the key to success.

And yeah, I'm still here.

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